REVIEWS: MOVIES & DVDs | COMIC BOOKS | VIDEOGAMES | WEB SITES & MORE

Bryan Singer Saves Superman by Mike-oh

Still super after all these years, despite embarassingly low, bikini-cut shorts and a diminuitive"S" on his chest that must stand for "Speedo."

Superman Returns. He wears a big red "S" on his chest. His shirt is blue. His pants are blue jeans with a pair of red underwear worn on the outside. He has a red towel for a cape. His curly brown hair sits over a gaunt face that seems like it will barely support the glasses perched precariously on his nose. He looks to be about a hundred pounds and all of fifteen years old. He's standing in line behind me waiting to be let in to see Superman Returns. He's Supernerd.

Supernerd really isn't so bad. He freely exhibits the enthusiasm that all of us waiting in line feels for the prospect of seeing Superman in action. Supernerd is maybe a little too comfortable exhibiting his enthusiasm for Superman. His only regret is his decision to wear his underwear on the outside. According to Supernerd, the pair is a couple of sizes too small and they are starting to really cramp his style.

We didn't wait in line nearly as long as I had anticipated. A few minutes later, we're filling the theater. It's 9:30 on Tuesday night, June 27, and we're all grabbing our seats for the special 10:00 preview showing of Superman Returns. Most people will have to wait until midnight or the next day before they get to revel in the eagerly anticipated return of America's greatest hero.

The theater is abuzz with fanboy chatter. Supernerd has three friends who have hoisted him over their shoulders and are flying him around the theater, up and down the stairs and across in front of the screen. Fellow nerds and geeks cheer him on. The guys from LoneStar Comics have shown up and are giving away free comic books -- copies of Superman/Batman and Justice League Unlimited -- left over from Free Comic Book Day.

In the time it takes to read a free comic book, the lights begin to go down and the movie trailers start playing. The Spider-Man 3 trailer illicits unbridled applause from the crowd. A couple of forgettable trailers later and THE movie has started.

In reading about the movie in the weeks and months preceeding its release, I knew that Bryan Singer was a big fan of Superman, the Movie. So it was no surprise to hear the familiar theme music or see the swooshing title animation. If you read the Superman Returns Prequel comics then you were also prepared for Lex Luthor's acquisition of a fortune and the introduction of his main goon, Kitty, played by Parker Posey. You may remember Ms. Posey as the anorexic and acerbic vampire from Blade 3. She looks like she had plastic surgery to make her look like Katherine Hepburn. Frankly, it's kinda distracting in a negative way. But I digress.

Bryan Singer unfolded his Superman story for a little over two and a half hours. In the process he pulled Superman down to earth and made him a character that everyone could identify with. I believe the single greatest accomplishment of this movie was making Superman believably vulnerable despite his incredible invulnerability. We see Superman getting the soup kicked out of him by Luthor and his goons. It's actually a very heart-wrenching scene, watching Superman get brutalized like that. Later, Singer has beaten down our hero so much that he is being wheeled through a hospital on a stretcher and put into intensive care. This scene is followed by one of Perry White looking at a newspaper headline that reads "Superman Dies".

For Singer, it wasn't enough to give Superman a physical beating. He also had to destroy the man of steel emotionally. And thanks to great acting on the part of Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, and even Tristen Lake Leabu, the story of Lois Lane's child and lover not only creates marvelous tension in the film but is also completely integral to the story. It creates the kind of drama that makes this a great movie for anyone to watch. Even the small minority of people who aren't Superman fans.

For Superman fans, the film is a feast. He flies like crazy. Man, he's great at flying. And hovering. He's faster than a speeding bullet. And manages to take a few thousand of them in the chest as he puts the hurt on a goon shooting at him with a modern gattling gun. He catches the Daily Planet globe as it falls off the top of the building and right before it crushes Perry White. He catches an airplane, a runaway car, a sinking ship, and a falling man. He's really good at catch. He blasts away with heat vision, busts through walls, and lifts a small continent. He's Superman. And he's back.

For fans of the Christpher Reeve movie, Superman Returns is a respectable homage to that first film. Marlon Brando's Jor-El is brought back to life, flashbacks take us to the Kent's Smallville farm. Lex Luthor's main motivation is still real estate property. And Brandon Routh's Clark Kent is an absolute mimic of Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent. Right down to his facial expressions. It's more seemless than the two Darrens from Bewitched.

There is lots to love in this movie. And very little to complain about. I had my concerns before the movie came out. I hated the Superman costume and Brandon's hair. And was real worried that he looked more like Superboy than Superman. But Mr. Routh is a man. And he pulls it off well. He is Superman. I believe him. And I guess if he wants to wear an absurd costume and grow his hair too long, who am I to argue with Superman? (His hair is too long and his low, hip hugger shorts look silly, and his "S" on his chest is too small, but that's all I'm going to say about that.)

After years of waiting to look up in the sky. To see if a man could really fly again. To see that big, red "S" emblazened across the Silver Screen. After years of waiting for someone to fix what Richard Lester and Richard Pryor helped ruin, we finally have our hero back. Superman Returns and Bryan Singer saves the day.

So, what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Give us your feedback.

ABOUT OUR WRITERS

Disgruntled Dan
Old Danny Boy is not happy. Not happy at all. The state of comics, movies and video games is falling way short of his expectations. Check out Disgruntled Dan's
Letters of Discontent here — new letters every month.

Afro Thunder
A man with crazy Kung-Fu abilities and even crazier hair. But please, don't confuse yourself into thinking he's Jewish, or Arabian, or anything other than a curly-haired, half white, half mexican ninja. He also gives the whole low-down on games and movies, but avoids reviewing comics (he's loves 'em, but can't tell you what he thinks of 'em).

Mike-oh
Mike-oh works for an advertising agency which explains his need for all of the escapism he uses to soak up his spare time. At least he spends some of that time sharing his thoughts with us on his various distractions.