REVIEWS: MOVIES & DVDs | COMIC BOOKS | VIDEOGAMES | WEB SITES & MORE

Review You by Afro Thunder

Positivebrand.net. I just visited positivebrand.net and I was amazed at how much stuff was on there. It was incredible. There were comics to buy, (although I didn’t buy any) there were T-Shirts to buy, (I had my own design custom made and on black, too) comics to read, (I’m hooked on Missile Mambo) reviews to read, (with Battle monkeys) and a response section, which has a funny article called Dear Darkseid. I thought that all of it was very entertaining, and opened new perspectives on games I liked. Some examples are Genji, Prince of Persia, Tekken 5, Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, City of Heroes, and City of Villains. And, there were also reviews on my favorite movies from old to new like Sleepy Hollow, Aeon Flux, Chronicles of Narnia, King Kong, V for Vendetta, Anchorman and more. The reviews themselves I felt were honest and reliable, although, I also felt that the humor was dry and sometimes repetive. Oh well, I like all of the writers, from Disgruntled Dan down to Mike-Oh, they’re all fun to listen to and hang out with. But Afro Thunder’s the best, with his little phrases and fun loving attitude, it’s amazing we don’t see more of him. Oh well.

The other great things are the comics. I mean talk about creative thinking in its best form. It doesn’t get better than this folks. Captivating stories like Missile Mambo will lure you in with their sleek, sexy covers and then keep you wanting more. Or Action-Packed Stories like Land of Andrak, or the Zombie always leaving saying “HELLS YEAH!!! THAT’S GOOD S***!!!” (I’m sorry, but we have certain young audiences viewing our content, so every now and then I have to censor it). Or informational comics like The Truth About The Man, that reveal the truth about the dirtiest, crummiest, scumballing-ist, person alive. We are forever in Positivebrand’s debt for showing us the truth. And I can’t wait to see such great tales as Dead Elvis and the Witchdoctor, Gates, or even the unknown tale of The Arena (still in production). Oops, I’ve said too much.

But, there’s only one thing wrong with this website, the fact that there’s no responses. Now, at this point, I’m changing this review into a review about you, our visitor. You are a nerd, unless you were sent here by Terry Heronime himself, in that case, we apologize for any insults we make to you. But if you came here willingly or stumbled upon it by “accident”, then you are a nerd. Don’t be afraid of admitting it, we here at Positivebrand have already come out to the world and said “WE ARE NERDS!!! Listen to us, for we determine your future! It is us that create things for you! Us that make sure you’re entertained! Us that make those simple things much, much greater!” But people won’t respect you; they’ll ridicule you.

People are mean. People are cruel, hurtful, hateful, sinful, spiteful, nasty, mean, annoying, idiotic little creatures. And believe it or not, you are people. Yes, you are going to have to admit that you are a person as well. And what’s unfortunate is that people ridicule nerds, who are also people, and those nerdy people ridicule other people, to the best of their abilities (which isn’t very good, in fact, nerds can’t make good insults without using big words, that sometimes, frankly, they don’t even understand). And then we have these nerds which aren’t nerds, but are nerds in disguise, that are ridiculed by people, and then these incognito nerds ridicule other people, and are good at it because they’re not really nerds, but real nerds rally behind them believing, too, that the incognito nerd is real, and it becomes a battle of insults and hatred and spite. It’s disgusting, because humans (which is the category for all nerds, geeks, people, preps, emos, jocks, perfectionist, perverts, etc.) are bad, they are bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And something needs to be done about it. So, write to us and tell us what you think needs to be fixed in humans. And don’t be shy about writing, we won’t chew you out, or insult you, too much. Anyways, I think that people should grow up and become humans, instead of confining themselves to their own groups. You need to live with each other, and then you can insult other things, like animals, trees, aliens, and so on. And right now as we speak, we are trying to do this very thing, and unite the human race. Unfortunately, since you don’t write to us, you’ll never be saved. I give you a 3 out of 5.

And Positivebrand.net gets a 4 out of 5, at least, until the humor picks up and they get some letters.

So, what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Let us know. All comments welcome.
Click here to give us your feedback.

ABOUT OUR WRITERS

Disgruntled Dan
Old Danny Boy is not happy. Not happy at all. The state of comics, movies and video games is falling way short of his expectations. Check out Disgruntled Dan's
Letters of Discontent here — new letters every month.

Afro Thunder
A man with crazy Kung-Fu abilities and even crazier hair. But please, don't confuse yourself into thinking he's Jewish, or Arabian, or anything other than a curly-haired, half white, half mexican ninja. He also gives the whole low-down on games and movies, but avoids reviewing comics (he's loves 'em, but can't tell you what he thinks of 'em).

Mike-oh
Mike-oh works for an advertising agency which explains his need for all of the escapism he uses to soak up his spare time. At least he spends some of that time sharing his thoughts with us on his various distractions.